A Different Species of Fangirl
by Thalion Estel
Summary: Thalion Estel unknowing walks into a den of fangirls, and she can't believe how silly they act. Fortunately, she soon receives some company more suited to her personality. But what does her new companion think of the fangirls, and more importantly, what do the fangirls think of him? Inspired by true events with a bit of Tolkien-flavor thrown in for good measure.


**Disclaimer: I do not own any of Tolkien's amazing characters**

**Author's Note: This is a story inspired by true events. Almost all of the dialogue is authentic, and besides the addition of one person into the plot (you'll have to decide for yourself who I'm talking about), this all really happened. Please note that this story contains a lot of teasing directed at your average teenage fangirl, but I don't mean to be insulting. This is friendly teasing! But seriously fangirls, I can't believe you guys actually talk like this . . . **

A Different Species of Fangirl

_Two roads diverged in an IHOP restaurant, _thought Thalion Estel as she entered a reserved area of the café containing several tables, most full of her classmates and their parents. One table was full of giggling girls while the other had several chuckling boys. Estel knew that each table possessed its own challenges, and she quickly weighed the options in her head.

The girls, being exhausted like the rest of the people in this midnight gathering, would undoubtedly be very silly for the entire duration of the meal. Their current state only supported this theory. But they might venture into some conversation that Estel could at least understand. Eventually. Maybe.

The boys would probably be talking about video games and computer programs totally foreign to Thalion, something she could hardly tolerate. There was of course the off chance that their talk would hit on sports, but football was over and baseball season had not yet begun, so there wouldn't be much to discuss anyway.

Without confidence, Thalion sat at the girls' table, her sister pulling up a chair as well.

For a while, the girls talked about the ball that the entire group had just attended. All were still dressed in their 1940s costumes, their hair done up in rolls, and Estel couldn't help but smile. She had enjoyed the ball very much, and even though her feet hurt terribly and her legs ached, she wouldn't have traded the night for anything. The girls around her only reminded her of the fun she'd had.

The conversation soon turned to a different topic. Fanfiction. At first, Thalion was overjoyed. She loved fanfiction, and had written many stories for it. Surely the girls would be interested in hearing the pearls of wisdom she possessed on the subject. However, this was not the case. Though Estel considered herself a fangirl, she had yet to encounter the more prominent species of the said creature. She was utterly unprepared for the dialogue that ensued. The girls _were_ really tired. Granted. But Thalion had no idea that real people actually talked and acted like _this_.

"Okay," one girl began, "so, I was, like, reading this fanfiction the other day…"

"Oh my gosh," a second girl cut in. "I, like, love fanfiction!"

"Like, I know, right?" the first girl said. "So anyway, I was, like, reading a fanfiction about Percy Jackson, and it was, like, about a death of a character—"

"Oh my gosh," interrupted a girl who had yet to remover her eyes from her phone. "I hate death fanfictions! I'm always just like 'why would you write that?' because why would you, like, want to kill the characters?"

"But anyway," the first girl said, not the least bit annoyed at being stopped over and over. "So, there was a fanfiction about Annabeth, like, dying, and so what happened was, like, depressing."

At this point, Thalion's younger sister, Susie of Anna, took out her camera and started filming the girls' discussion. Both she and Estel were stifling laughs at the strange and slightly disturbing behavior of their companions, whose facial expressions revealed the amount of drama that was at the table. The girls did not notice that they were being recorded, so they continued.

"Okay, so, like, Hades let Annabeth out to see Percy one more time," the first girl got out before the second girl let out a fangirl cry of pain. "I know, I know," the first girl half said and half sobbed, "it was, like, so sad, but it was, like, so good. Annabeth was like 'Percy, you saved the world' and Percy was like 'But I couldn't save you' and I was like—"

The shrieks of fangirls filled the air, and the second girl pressed her hands against her face and sobbed. "I'm, like, crying!" she exclaimed.

"That's okay," another girl chimed in, wiping away tears of her own. "It's, like, so depressing!"

"I know!" the first girl choked out, rubbing her eyes. "I was, like, bawling my eyes out!"

"Oh," the second girl sighed, "one time, I was, like, reading this fanfiction, and I, like, cried my eyes out too! I was, like, so sad, and I, like, cried so hard!"

"I know!" cooed the first girl said. "I do that in movies! Do you guys, like, watch _Once Upon a Time_?"

The room erupted in affirmation, and the conversation plunged even further into fandoms. The girls cackled on about how sad this was, how hot he was, and how this should have been like this. Thalion sighed loudly, but no one could hear her above the din. This was ridiculous.

Suddenly a dark figure caught Estel's eye, and she glanced to her left to see someone in a black cloak enter the restaurant. He spoke with a waiter who pointed in Thalion's direction, and the stranger nodded his thanks and quietly slipped into the vacant seat across from the young authoress. His hood was pulled over his face, and the fangirls were so wrapped up in their talk that they didn't notice him. Thalion, however, recognized him immediately.

"Aragorn," she said, glad of some company she could just talk with like a normal human being. "What are you doing here? I haven't seen you since you asked me to write _Part of Him_. Do you have a new story in mind?"

"No," the ranger replied, his voice loud enough for Estel to hear, but not for the girls to catch. "I just had a craving for some pancakes."

Thalion smiled and furtively moved her right hand across the table top. The girl on her right was still on her phone, and her unfinished plate of chocolate pancakes was within Estel's reach. The Tolkien-nerd carefully gripped the plate and slowly pulled it to herself. The girl never looked up from her phone, and Thalion slid the pancakes to Aragorn, who eagerly began eating them.

After one particularly loud and unanimous giggle from the fangirls, Aragorn looked up in confusion and shot Estel a questioning glance.

"What do they laugh so loudly about?" he asked, adding some syrup to his pancakes.

Thalion listened for a moment to the conversation so that she could accurately answer Aragorn. She only caught a few of the words and phrases, though those in themselves were nearing insanity.

"Chris Pine is so hot! He is just so, like, attractive!"

"I smiled through, like, the whole of _How to Train Your Dragon 2_ because Hiccup is, like, so hot!"

"But he's, like, animated!"

"So?"

"Have you seen the _Cinderella_ commercial?"

"Oh my gosh, I, like, bawled my eyes out!"

"But the prince is, like, not hot! Princes should always be super hot!"

"Yeah, like Chris Pine!"

"Oh my gosh, he is, like, so hot!"

Estel shook her head and turned to face Aragorn. "They're fangirling, I suppose. Just going crazy over how much they love and are _in_ love with their favorite characters. It's ridiculous, I know."

Aragorn smiled, and he even let out a small chuckle, one that Thalion always found pleasant. "So you're not a fangirl, I suppose?" he asked after a moment.

"Well, I don't know," Estel replied a bit sheepishly. "I do really like characters from my favorite fandoms, but not for the reasons they do. I don't like you because you're 'so hot'. I like you because of your characteristics. Your humility and honor, your valor and courage, your resilience and compassion; those things are what I admire. In some ways I think I like my favorite characters more than those girls ever could, even though I don't profess my love from the rooftops like they do."

Aragorn smiled again, this time with a hint of modesty. Thalion supposed she had slightly flattered him with her compliments, but since she considered him her friend, it wasn't very awkward. After a brief minute of thought, Aragorn folded his hands triumphantly as he reached a conclusion. "I believe you are a so-called 'fangirl' Thalion; just a of different species than they are."

Estel grinned. She loved Aragorn's company; it was refreshing in contrast to _them_. Oh, they weren't bad really, but Thalion could not even imagine how those girls lived all day with their strange mindset. It must be so exhausting to have to classify every person and character into categories based on hotness and….well, actually that's the only part of them that is considered with that view of the world. How impractical, illogical, and frankly, ridiculous.

"Well, that settles the issue, then," Thalion said, a smile tugging at her lips. "I am a different species of fangirl. And thank goodness."

The girls' were now discussing how they liked their vegetables cooked, how pizza ought to be ordered, and how mutual attraction between two teenagers who are uncertain of what to do about it is "just the worst". Since the conversation had declined, the girl seated at Estel's right seemed to be ready to leave, for she had actually put her phone down to look for her bag. She stood up to depart when she noticed her plate of pancakes was in the clutches of a stranger.

"Hey!" she cried. "Those are, like, _my _pancakes!"

"I am sorry, madam," Aragorn apologized, glaring somewhat seriously at Thalion. "I was under the impression that you were finished."

"She _was_ finished," Estel insisted.

"Well, I was, like, thinking of taking one more bite, but I…" the girl's voice trailed off as she got a glimpse of the ranger's face. Though she was no Middle Earth expert, she had seen _The Lord of the Rings_ movies enough to recognize Aragorn when he looked directly at her. "Oh my gosh," she exclaimed. "You're, like, Aragorn! You are so hot!"

All the fangirls suddenly stopped talking and whipped their heads around to stare at Aragorn. For a brief second, the room was quiet as the girls drank in the sight of a major hotty. Then, all at once, the girls stood up and began screaming in glee, throwing in random phrases to add chaos to the scene.

"…you are even hotter than in the movies…."

"…your eyes captivate me…"

"…introduce me to Legolas…"

"…who needs Arwen?…"

Then they pounced. Aragorn had to duck to avoid the mob, which soon recovered and pursued him all across the restaurant. Thalion raced ahead and quickly guided the ranger to the door, slamming it on the girls and pushing it closed with all her might. They beat against the glass, yelling about their undying devotion and love at the top of their lungs. The door could not hold for very long.

"You better go," Estel panted, "if your pancake craving is gone, of course."

"I am satisfied," he replied, grinning a little. "I'll see you again sometime. I actually do have an idea or two for some stories. But I need to run them over with Elladan and Elrohir first."

"You do that," Thalion said with a nod. "But now you really need to leave, unless you want to be mauled by vicious fangirls."

Both Estel and her namesake laughed, but a sudden and strong jolt against the door brought that to an abrupt halt. The door was giving in.

"Aragorn," Thalion began, unable to resist the opportunity to quote, "run hard. Don't look back."

"According to your wish," the ranger said, turning on his heels and sprinting away just as the fangirls successfully opened the door and poured outside. They shouted loudly and begged Aragorn to stop and come back to their loving embraces, but their cries were in vain.

"Man, this is, like, the worst," one girl complained.

"I'm going to, like, bawl my eyes out when I get home!" another wept.

"But guys, he was, like, so hot!" a third commented.

Thalion joined Susie of Anna behind the mob, and they shared a chuckle as Susie switched off her camera.

"My muse just gave me an idea," Estel said.

"What?" asked Susie of Anna.

"I should write this into a fanfiction," Thalion declared with smirk. "But I wonder something. Are we the normal ones, or are they?"

"Hmm, I don't know. It seems like we are more sensible, but most teenage girls are like they are. So I guess we're the weird ones after all."

The sisters were quiet for a moment. "I'm glad we're weird," Estel finally remarked.

"Me, too," agreed Susie.

**Thanks so much for reading! What did you think? PLEASE leave me a review!**


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